Show! Don't Tell!

Don't Be Boring!

Remember this?


When you make the effort to show your reader, instead of just telling them, your writing can become much more interesting. Here's an example:

Tell: "In Sweden Witches visit at Easter"

Show: "The bonfires had been lit. Fireworks danced across the sky and all around the village excited children dressed as witches were collecting sweets from their neighbors. They aren't trick or treating -- no, they're leaving their neighbors beautifully decorated letters in exchange for their sweets. For this isn't Halloween, this is how they celebrate Easter in Sweden."

or this one:

Tell: The ground floor, rented room was tiny, damp and obviously uncared for.

Show: "As he entered the room from the hallway the first thing he noticed was the musty smell: a combination of mould, damp and stale smoke. There were snail trails across the worn, brown, cord carpet that covered what little floor space there was. Opposite the doorway, pushed up against the wall, was a single bed, covered with a blanket and a flat, stained pillow.     Squeezed into the corner of the room at the foot of the bed was a chest of drawers. On top of the drawers was a single electric hotplate. Opposite this was a sink piled high with dirty pots with a toothbrush just visible, peeking out through the handle of a mug. Facing the bed was a small table with a fold up-chair. On top of the table was an overflowing garbage can and yesterday's newspaper."




Now, write a comment on this blog post where you try to improve this "tell":

We spent the day at the beach.